As I connect with people around Newton, we reflect together on the fraught process of aging. I hear the adage ‘age is just a number.’ I really don’t know what that means. 

Are people denying the actual process of getting older? Or, is there some more significant thought behind the statement—an acknowledgement, perhaps, that lots of things go on in a person’s life, not just the passing and counting of years? I guess that axiom can be interpreted in many different ways. I look at it in the context of my own life. 

Next month, I will turn 88. (Note that August is the 8th month.) Somehow, when I look at these two digits together in print, I am struck by two things. First, that’s a lot of time to have been in this world—not as much as some of my friends who are well into their 90s or even their 100s. There are, of course, many, many more who have, until now, lived fewer years, and a whole bunch of family and friends who didn’t make it this far. I miss them. 

The second thing is that 8 looks like an infinity sign standing upright. Only twice an 8 (aka infinity sign) was not accompanied by another number. Age 8 for me happened in 1946. As a young child, I didn’t know enough to think about elapsed time except that I probably assumed that I would continue on into an endlessness of being. Now, I’m approaching 88 and have had enough experience to know that infinity doesn’t exist for me or anybody else. Realistically, I will never celebrate a birthday with three 8s in it.

Thinking about the numbers themselves, the side-by-side 88 seem slightly iconic, sort of like Rte. 66, which engenders romantic thoughts about open-road America beckoning with the lure of freedom and adventure. 

Are there such stories and messages behind 88? As it turns out, it does have different meanings—some fun, some good, and some evil. In ham radio lingo, it means ‘love and kisses.’ In music it’s a nickname for a piano because of the total of black and white keys. Some spiritual and angelic traditions say that 88 indicates divine support, and personal power. On the evil side, the number is a perverse Neo-Nazi and White Supremacist symbol that lauds 20th-century tyrannical dictators. I won’t think about that now: too scary at this point in history.

Visually, the double digits are symmetrical, roundish, and kind of insistent—pay attention!

If I look at 88 as two side-by-side infinity signs—∞∞, I have the opportunity to be more fanciful and exploratory about never-ending loops of forever. Infinity signs can represent the belief in a soul, its immortality, and the potential for being reborn into a completely new, unidentified life. I have difficulty accepting the concept of multiple lifetimes. My pragmatic self leads me to accept that I have only one life and I’d better use that in the best way possible while I’m here. 

But, I’m curious about the sign. It is widely considered to represent advantages that keep repeating themselves: ceaseless prosperity, steadfastness, and good fortune.

Since I have difficulty accepting the notion of rebirth, I wonder how this endless well-being can apply to my existence today into whatever years I have left. I do not think about this in a morbid way. On the contrary, it shows me a road—my own metaphorical and purposeful Rte. 88—of how to travel into a hopeful future. It also gives me a perspective on the past.

Looking back at the 80 years between my first infinity sign to the two of today, I perceive a gratifying life full of luck. I’ve maintained a pretty healthy physical status (minus a few annoyances). I have attained modest security, a good place to live, a secure situation within a loving family, and continue to have a role as an advocate for local and national causes that help protect the rights of ordinary people. 

On top of that, I’m still able to conceive of and write an article or book. Is that lucky or what?

My view of the time I have ahead is merely to continue traversing those loops in the same way I have been doing for my own past ‘forever.’ I can only imagine existence in terms of my current pathway. So, I am going to stay on it. This attitude makes me sharply focused on what I do today and, to the extent possible, the next unknown quantities of tomorrows. Loop by loop, I will keep keeping on.

Marian Leah Knapp is a writer and book author who lives in Newton. She can be reached at knappml@comcast.net.