Hello, Newton. If we haven’t met yet, my name is Nanci Ginty Butler. I’m a clinical social worker, a parent and your neighbor. I’ve spent my professional life helping families grapple with the messy, beautiful, exhausting adventure of raising kids. And I’m excited to begin this conversation here in our village-lined corner of the world.

Parenting in Newton can feel both deeply connected and sadly high pressure. This is a city where family calendars require color coding and backup plans. Playground chats pivot from snack strategy to school committee debate in minutes. And a well-meaning parenting question posted on Facebook in the morning can spark a 200-comment thread by lunchtime.

We care. A lot. Over the years, I’ve worked with local children, adolescents and young adults—and the parents or guardians who love them. I currently lead a large mental health team in an adolescent and young adult clinic at a local hospital. We support teens who are thriving, teens who are struggling, and teens who insist they’re fine while very clearly not being fine at all. 

I’ve also sat with parents of toddlers mid-tantrum, elementary schoolers navigating friendships, and middle schoolers who suddenly seem to need deodorant and a digital detox at the same time. Across all ages, I hear parents whisper a similar question: “Are we doing this right?” 

I’ll try to help wrestle with that question in this column. By temperament, I’m curious, practical and allergic to judgment. I’ve spent years in exam rooms, school and community meetings, and kitchen-table conversations where parents finally exhale and say, “Okay. So it’s not just us.” 

I’m also a parent. Which means that despite all of my training, I have absolutely Googled things at midnight, second-guessed decisions before breakfast, and replayed conversations in my head while sitting in traffic.

Parenting has a way of humbling even the most seasoned professionals. If you’re looking for someone who has parenting perfectly figured out, I am not that person. But I understand how high the stakes feel, how loud the group chats can get, and how blurry the path can become at every developmental stage.

Let’s get this out of the way early: There are very few universally “right” answers when it comes to parenting.

What works beautifully with one child may fall flat with another. What feels manageable at age 4 may unravel at 14. Strategies that align with your values might clash with your neighbor’s, your mother-in-law’s, or the latest viral parenting trend. Parenting happens in real families, with real stressors, histories, kids and limits. 

One of my strongest beliefs is this: Parents are already doing the best they can with the information, energy and resources they have. The problem isn’t a lack of effort. It’s that parenting advice is often oversimplified, shaming or disconnected from real life. 

My goal is not to hand you a “correct” approach. It’s to help you think more clearly, feel less alone, and make thoughtful choices that fit your family—whether you’re navigating bedtime with a preschooler, friendship drama in fifth grade, or the emotional rollercoaster of high school (where everyone, including parents, needs a snack and a nap).

This column will be a place for thoughtful, grounded, compassionate guidance. We’ll talk about kids and teens, yes, but we’ll also talk about parents—their worries, their frustration, their exhaustion, their hope.

Topics may include big feelings, behavior that doesn’t make sense, screen time battles, school stress, mental health concerns, sibling dynamics and the very normal fear that you’re somehow messing everything up. 

I won’t promise quick fixes. What I’ll try to offer is perspective, evidence-informed guidance, and respect for how hard this job is. Sometimes the most helpful shift isn’t a new strategy, but a reframe—understanding what a behavior might be communicating, or realizing that a phase is developmentally normal even if it’s deeply inconvenient. Humor belongs in parenting, too. If we can’t occasionally laugh at the absurdity of raising humans while trying to remain one ourselves, we’re in trouble.

In upcoming columns, I’ll try to answer questions from Newton parents with kids of all ages. Please email me at asknancigb@gmail.com with your questions. I’ll also tackle questions posed in online parenting forums.

If you’re stuck, confused, worried or just curious, I want to hear from you. If you’re wondering about something, chances are many other parents in our community are too. 

While I can’t respond to every message personally, I will choose questions that reflect common challenges and answer them with care, confidentiality and respect. 

Parenting is hard. It’s also meaningful, maddening and deeply human. My hope is that this column feels like a steady, honest voice; one that reminds you that you’re not alone, you’re not failing, and you’re allowed to ask for help. I’m really glad to be here with you.

Nanci Ginty Butler is a Newton parent and clinical social worker. She can be reached at asknancigb@gmail.com.