I’ve never been one to procrastinate. Upon being given a task, I am quick to complete it. I rarely, if ever, fall behind. 

Then I found myself face-to-face with the spring of my senior year of high school—and the dreaded “senioritis” bug. No longer tethered to the pressure of perfectionism for college applications, I could afford to give myself permission to let deadlines become suggestions. I could feel lighter, I thought, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. 

In reality, while I’m enjoying more time with friends, I’m also wasting too much time scrolling on my phone. I’ve come to realize that the weight on my shoulders is what pushed me to excel.

Throughout high school, the prospect of college was my primary motivator. Now happily committed to Northwestern University (Go ’Cats!), I’m having to learn a completely new discipline: self-motivation. And it’s harder than it looks. 

I’m not alone in the grip of senioritis, an age-old affliction for second-semester seniors that results in a loss of motivation and apathy toward academic pursuits. Ask other high school seniors (but don’t look for them in the library).

Throughout the whole of my first semester, I longed for the day when I would catch this post-acceptance bug. Burdened by college essay prompts and advanced placement classes, I chose to believe in a light at the end of the tunnel. 

In my fantasy of senior spring, I saw myself squeezing out every last moment of time with my friends before we left for school in the fall. This part has been proven true. Without the pressure of assignments due at midnight, I no longer pass up the chance to grab Shake Shack (which we seem to do at least once a week) or stay the night at a friend’s house. Socially, senioritis has lived up to the hype. 

My vision for the spring also included my academic struggles plummeting to unprecedented lows. Yet another thing I was right about. With less work to do in my classes, I have mastered the New York Times Spelling Bee. 

Here is where I arrive at the crucial oversight in my senioritis fantasy: With neither structure nor assignment, many of my empty hours have become a vacuum for nonproductive activities.

In theory, I am free to do what I want. In practice, I have taken a passive approach to this extra time. Instead of stepping out to learn a new sport or sitting down to write the next bestseller, I have reached for the most accessible time waster. I have reached for my phone. 

As it turns out, mindless social media scrolling is the perfect outlet for unmotivated second semester seniors to pass the time. With the simple click to open an app, I have found my entertainment for the entire afternoon. And without any external incentive to leave the confines of the internet, scrolling has become a dominant part of my daily routine. 

At the end of most days, I’ve gained nothing more than a handful of moderately funny videos to share with my friends for a chuckle. The first semester version of myself dreamed of this free time. Now in my second semester, I am wasting it. 

I could blame this new schedule on the addictive nature of social media or academic burnout from four full years of high school. Still, while these factors have contributed to my current state, I cannot escape personal responsibility for my lack of motivation. 

I am the one who chooses to scroll. I am the one who has adopted procrastination. I am the one who has relied on external factors to motivate my entire life’s actions: college, good grades, recognition and rewards. 

In this new space I find myself in, where my old motivations no longer matter, I have lost much of my drive to succeed. Senioritis has become debilitating.

Yet with the right reframing, it can transition into a low-stakes opportunity to learn how to self-motivate and find joy in the last few months of childhood. 

In this period between the slog of high school and the fast pace of college, now is the time to find new motivation from the things that spark excitement, curiosity or concern. For me, this starts by putting down my phone and embracing the last— and what can be the best—few months of my high school experience. 

I have never been a procrastinator. I choose instead to make these last months stand out. 

Maya Solomon is a senior at Newton North High School, an incoming freshman at Northwestern University, and a former sports and features editor for North’s student newspaper, The Newtonite. She can be reached at mayaisolomon@gmail.com.