Mark Gottesman of Temple Shalom greets Amir Tajiki and Fahima Ashori at the couple’s engagement party. Photo by Howard Sholkin
Fahima Ashori and Amir Tajiki met while working at a Persian restaurant in Belmont. The two fell in love, and on Saturday, December 21, the couple—she is from Afghanistan and he is from Iran—celebrated their engagement at Temple Shalom in Newton.
“What was particularly gratifying for us was you have a woman from Afghanistan and young man from Iran having their engagement and wedding at Temple Shalom,” Mark Gottesman of Temple Shalom said. “In this messed up world, at Chanukkah we talk about light in the midst of darkness, and this is a way that I personally feel that.”
It was a celebration of their love and also a testament to the long journey that brought them across oceans, cultures and geopolitical complexities to that moment.
The silk road to New England
Ashori was raised in Kunduz, a northern province of Afghanistan, before living in Kabul, Afghanistan, for six years before moving to India in January 2021.
She made it out of Kabul just a few months before Afghanistan fell to the Taliban.
Ashori, an artist who studied painting at the Fine Art Institute of Kabul, was targeted by the Taliban for her independence and activism. She came to Massachusetts with the help of Silkroad, a Brighton-based organization launched by cellist Yo-Yo Ma that connects artists from all over the world to foster cultural collaboration and peace.
First, her sister-in-law, Huma, who plays the Sitar (an Indian string instrument) joined Silkroad. Then Ashori and her siblings followed.
“They were a big support for us to get here,” Ashori said.
The program helped get them away from the Taliban at a time when Ashori was being targeted by the Taliban for her advocacy for women artists.
She first settled in Cape Cod in 2022, and her artistry flourished as she displayed her paintings and preached a message of peace and understanding. And she has since moved to Newton and is studying banking at Suffolk University.
Finding a flight
Tajiki, born and raised in Iran, had an interesting journey to America as well. He decided to come to America to study banking and finance in 2022. But the United States and Iran don’t have diplomatic relations, and there’s no American embassy in Iran.
But Tajiki was motivated. So, he decided to fly to different countries to get a visa that would be accepted by the United States. He tried Armenia and Georgia, but they had a yearlong wait and his request for an expedited visa was rejected.
“So I got a visa in Thailand, in Bangkok, which was six hours away from my country,” he said. “I flew over there, and my first appointment I got rejected.”
Eventually, Tajiki would get an expedited visa through Turkey, and he was on his way to America.
How they met
Tajiki got a job at a Persian restaurant in Belmont, Café Vanak, where he worked with Fahima’s brother.
Ashori got a job at Café Vanak as well last year, and the rest is history.
“So that was the start of our knowing each other,” Fahima said.
Fortunately, their love was able to grow without a language barrier. Fahima comes from a part of Afghanistan where the people speak Dari, a Persian language similar to Farsi, which is spoken in Iran.
“We both speak Persian, but with different accents,” Ashori said.
Looking to the future
The couple got engaged a couple of weeks ago and threw a big party to let friends and family know. Unlike in America, where couples get engaged in private, engagements in Persian culture are a big event.
“In our culture, when we say we love each other we hold a party, an engagement party, and we invite our friends and family, and after that we plan the marriage,” Ashori said.
Why Temple Shalom? Neither Ashori nor Tajiki are Jewish, but Temple Shalom has an Afghan Resettlement Program that helps families like hers flee the Taliban for safer places in America. And Ashori and her family have made a lot of friends there.
When Ashori had her paintings displayed at Temple Shalom and her sister was performing the sitar there a few months ago, she realized she wanted to have her engagement and wedding there too.
Tajiki got his second master’s degree in finance from Holt International Business School (his first master’s degree was in business administration from the University of Tehran) and currently works as a banker for Bank of America.
Ashori is studying business analytics and information systems at Suffolk University while continuing to create art. She hopes to work in banking as well after she graduates. She may even open an art gallery someday.
While Ashori studies at Suffolk, her sister, Parastou, is studying journalism, also at Suffolk. And her brother, Sardar, is studying dental hygiene on Cape Cod.
Ashori and Tajiki are planning a lengthy engagement to make time to get their parents (who live in Afghanistan and Iran) visas to travel to America for the wedding.
“Of course, they are very happy for us,” Ashori said.