I recently read John Chaimanis’s words about transgender students and bathroom facilities. I’m writing not to attack him, but to ask our community to consider the impact of our words on vulnerable young people.

Mr. Chaimanis commented on Facebook: “I hear you say, ‘there is no threat, and no danger,’ but that’s not what the girls are saying. They are  saying, they are scared and uncomfortable to be alone in a bathroom/changing room with a trans girl.

We wouldn’t tolerate these statements about any other group of kids. Substitute “Black” or “Jewish” or “gay” for “trans” in that sentence. Would we validate fears about sharing bathrooms with Black classmates? With Jewish or gay classmates? We should recognize it as a teaching moment, a chance to help young people grow more comfortable with difference and examine how we adults might have shaped those fears.

There are transgender students in our schools who avoid bathrooms all day. When adults amplify concerns about their presence, even when “just asking questions,” we deepen their isolation and signal that their basic dignity is debatable.

Every young person deserves to see adults publicly supporting their right to exist fully in our community. That’s why I’m speaking up.

I want to be clear: I’m not calling anyone a bigot. This isn’t about intent or character. It’s about the words we use and their real-world consequences for students who are hurting. Our words matter. Our kids are listening.

Joshua Herzig-Marx
Newton